Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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