Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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