I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
