I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
