he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
