You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just tell him i said nine months
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
