at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
