she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
