I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
