and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
