I'm going to jail i love you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
