I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
