I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
