Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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