she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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