my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
