is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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