Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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