So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
