You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
