dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
