Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
