i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
