no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
