Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would fuck him just for his dog
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