he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
