Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
