Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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