I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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