I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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