Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize