as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have feelings that need drinking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
