I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
