I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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