Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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