Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
