So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
