Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh god it's open bar.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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