Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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