What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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