as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
