The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The power of my boobs compel you
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
