I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
