my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
