We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
