its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
