can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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