I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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