Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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