shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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