I love black thongs
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
