Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
