you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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