loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
